When Your Baby Becomes a Tiny Vampire: Why Babies Bite and How to Stop Them
We’ve entered a new phase in baby development—the biting phase. Yep, my little twin nephews, these sweet, angelic cherubs, have decided that my arms (and occasionally my ankles) are chew toys. In the last week alone, I’ve been bitten seven times. Seven! I can only assume I’ve now joined an elite club of bitten uncles everywhere, but I’ll save the membership card for later. Right now, we’ve got to figure out why babies bite and how to make it stop before I end up resembling a human teething ring.
Why Do Babies Bite?
First off, let’s cut the little ones some slack. When babies bite, they’re not doing it because they’re secretly auditioning for the next season of True Blood. There are several reasons why babies bite, and, surprisingly, most of them are pretty innocent:
1. Teething: According to Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, author of Touchpoints: Birth to Three, one of the most common reasons babies bite is teething. As those pearly whites start pushing through, babies experience discomfort and pressure in their gums. Biting is a way to relieve that pressure. Sadly for us, that means anything nearby is fair game—including our limbs.
2. Exploration: Babies are like tiny scientists. They explore their world with their mouths. It’s the same reason they shove toys, pacifiers, and anything they can grab into their mouths—biting is just another way for them to experiment with their surroundings.
3. Communication: Sometimes, babies bite because they can’t express themselves in words. They might be frustrated, excited, or just trying to get your attention. Biting is a fast way to make a point, albeit a painful one.
4. Cause and Effect: Babies are also learning about cause and effect. They bite, and guess what? They get a reaction! Whether it’s a gasp, a yelp, or an “ouch!”—they notice that biting gets your attention. This is why it’s crucial to respond in a way that discourages the behavior without making it seem like a fun game.
Tips and Tricks to Stop the Biting
Now that we know why they bite, how do we stop these tiny vampires from sinking their teeth into everything? Here are some tried-and-true strategies, backed by experts and tested on my very own skin.
1. Stay Calm and Don’t Overreact
I know it’s hard not to yelp when you’re bitten for the seventh time in as many days, but try to stay calm. Dr. Harvey Karp, pediatrician and author of The Happiest Toddler on the Block, suggests that when babies bite, our first instinct (usually to shout or react dramatically) can actually reinforce the behavior. Babies love big reactions—they see it as attention. Instead, keep your response calm but firm. Say something like, “No biting. Biting hurts,” in a neutral tone.
2. Redirect Their Attention
Once you’ve calmly explained that biting isn’t okay, immediately redirect their attention to something else—preferably something they can bite. Teething toys, a cold washcloth, or even a frozen teething ring can help soothe their aching gums and satisfy the urge to chew.
3. Offer Positive Reinforcement
Whenever your baby chooses not to bite or shows gentle behavior, reinforce it with positive feedback. Praise them with a cheerful “Good job!” or “You’re being so gentle!” Over time, babies learn that they get attention for positive actions instead of biting. In his book No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame, Janet Lansbury explains that positive reinforcement is key to teaching good behavior without making the child feel punished or misunderstood.
4. Model Gentle Behavior
Sometimes babies bite because they don’t fully understand how to be gentle. Show them what gentle touches feel like by softly stroking their arms or face and saying, “This is gentle.” Then encourage them to do the same. Modeling the behavior you want to see can go a long way in teaching them how to treat others with care.
5. Provide Teething Relief
If the biting is due to teething, help relieve the discomfort by offering safe teething toys or applying cold compresses. A chilled washcloth or silicone teething rings are perfect for soothing those sore gums. Dr. William Sears, author of The Baby Book, recommends a combination of teething toys and gentle gum massages to help alleviate the urge to bite.
6. Encourage Communication
For babies who bite out of frustration or because they’re trying to communicate, teaching basic sign language can be incredibly helpful. Signs for “more,” “all done,” or “help” can give babies a way to express their needs without resorting to biting. The Baby Sign Language method suggests that babies as young as six months can learn simple signs, reducing frustration and potentially curbing biting behaviors.
7. Consistent Boundaries
Consistency is crucial. Each time your baby bites, respond the same way: stay calm, explain that biting hurts, and redirect their attention. Over time, they’ll understand that biting isn’t an acceptable way to get what they want.
When to Seek Help
While biting is typically a phase that most babies outgrow, sometimes it can be a sign of deeper frustration or developmental delays. If your baby’s biting becomes aggressive, frequent, or continues well beyond the teething stage, it might be worth consulting with a pediatrician or a child development expert. Books like The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene offer insight into managing challenging behaviors and understanding the emotional roots of such actions.
The Takeaway
Biting is one of those quirky (and sometimes painful) parts of early childhood that many of us just have to ride out. Remember, your baby isn’t doing it to hurt you—they’re teething, exploring, or trying to communicate. With a little patience, some teething toys, and clear boundaries, the biting phase will pass. Until then, I’ll be over here, counting my bites and dodging tiny teeth like it’s a sport.